The Monster They Have Made of Us...

What is hardest? Starting on a new thing or starting again after failing in public.

I can't say; I'm currently at the two ends of the spectrum, and I can't qualify one as tougher. They are both bound by fear of perception, but today, I am taking that courage to face that fear.

After a not-so-proud break, I am coming back.

And the best way to come in is not the start of a new month but the moment of decision.

Whether it's a new month, a new week, or a new day, just start... Face that fear.

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We all have our goals.
We all have our dreams.

And we know in order for us to get there, there has to be a change.
Like the blacksmith and the iron, we have to be beaten and forged into shape.

But this is beyond the usual tales of consistency and persistence.​
This is about you in the middle of the journey, shedding your old skin and trying to form a new one.

You are literally losing your old friends, mindsets, hobbies, and knowledge to put on a new one.
But in this valley of despair, the chasm of life, the depth of the tunnel, you are questioning everything.

Not that it is worth it, nor doubt in its promise.
​But the question is, what monster will I become if I take this path?

You know, certainly, you can't turn back; you know, certainly, you have left all, rejected that life, and stretched forth for a better one.

You know the cost.
You know the price.

But as you stare into the dark abyss to face the monster and to come out of the tunnel, you ask yourself, “What monster am I turning to?”

Who am I becoming?
Am I losing identity?

Questions of uncertainty rush through the mind of who this person is becoming, and if you have an inch of courage to look into the mirror...

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What reflection do you see?

Be Determined. Stay Focused.
​Hortharn's Journal