In Him We Trust...

What is hardest? Starting on a new thing or starting again after failing in public.

I can't say; I'm currently at the two ends of the spectrum, and I can't qualify one as tougher. They are both bound by fear of perception, but today, I am taking that courage to face that fear.

After a not-so-proud break, I am coming back.

And the best way to come in is not the start of a new month but the moment of decision.

Whether it's a new month, a new week, or a new day, just start... Face that fear.

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I no longer see myself...

The past man bounded by ideologies and weaknesses that defined him.
Nor do I see the man I idolise to become, whom I sacrificed all to meet.

I feel lost...

The result doesn't match up.
I am neither looking like the person I was years ago.
Nor anything at all like the person I aimed for years ago.

I have no friends.
I have no peers.

I have no one, except He that lives inside of me.
He is that hope that holds me bound to life.

As I stir and search for him...

Truly, I have to be broken; every form of self, courage, pity, confidence, and even love (as hate) has to die.

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All have to die at His feet, and with no previous record, He makes of me what is eternity.

Be Determined. Stay Focused.
​Hortharn's Journal